to my 20 year old self…
My last birthday entry, on my 29th birthday, ended with “Thank you for letting me live to see 29 and for my health, happiness, success, love, life… everything. I hope I can spread my positivity and light to many people throughout my life. I want to make others feel good and inspire more happiness and peace across all different types of people. Anyway, 29, I can’t wait to see what you have ready for me. I welcome the adventure with open arms and an open heart. Love to all. Love, dara rose” And my next entry in June starts with “I did it!! I solo traveled in Europe which is a dream I’ve had for so long.”
Twenty nine was a year of rebirth. Instead of “what did I accomplish”, I think “how much joy did I feel”? And the answer is soooooo much. It was a joyful year but also one where I truly felt all my emotions for the first time in a long time. Old wounds and doubts and insecurities and patterns were brought to the surface. The changes were subtle but I felt them to my core. I got my voice back, I got my heart back, I got my fire back, I got my passion back, and amongst all of that, life continues to not be figured out. But I’m learning that that’s okay.
My 20 year-old self felt ugly and stupid and unlovable and weird. I would have given her advice to let herself feel it and then to do things anyway. To my 30 year old self… it’s okay to feel everything you feel. You can feel unlovable and frustrated and behind and confused. Pause, feel it, and then keep moving along. You have places to be and people to meet and sights to see and none of that is going to happen up in your mind - it’s going to happen when you step outside and live that beautiful life of yours. To quote a quote I think of often (not sure of the original author), “you haven’t yet met all of the people you are going to love and who are going to love you”.
The earth needs you and you need it. Go after your 30s with all your might - live your life so fully that you’re exhausted at the end of every single day and your face hurts from smiling and your heart aches from feeling and you hair is tangled from being windswept. Go live harder than you have before. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes - in fact, make lots of mistakes. Try new things. Do the things you always said you would do. Love madly and deeply and unapologetically. Dance always. And remember you are sunshine and you are needed.
Love love love,
dara
